Dealing with Unrequited Love: A Christian Perspective for Single Moms
It was one of those days, I had just gotten back home from church, it was a beautiful Sunday service everything seemed okay, maybe; 🤷🏽♀️ but I sat there in my head again remembering the prayers my pastor’s wife had so passionately prayed over the music team, and the point where she said "Father please help these ones they do a lot to make this work go on, if they are not around it becomes obvious that something is missing, complete them, marriage can’t make them complete only You can”. Tears rolled down my eyes and I almost wanted to let it all out.
They say watch what you ask for, cause you might receive but I'm pretty sure if you wake me up tomorrow I'd still say I'm game, I'm ready for love.
I loved a man or rather I love a man and I thought he could be my anchor in this season or phase of my life but boy! was I wrong! Never had I felt the pain of unrequited love until now and heck! my heart literally aches. Sometimes I blame God for giving me the ability to love again, (sorry God 😔🙏) cause it shouldn’t be this way. I have suffered enough I just want a little dose of happiness, I want sweet nothings, beautiful deep conversations (I hate small talk), a little hello hi, just thinking of you. I know I maybe too old for teenage love but my heart’s not too old. I try to process all of these on my own, I try to get closure but he builds up a wall, sometimes he blows hot other times he blows cold and I have no idea what to think so I say to myself; Jessica! Abort Mission!
I read a blog and the writer wrote about 15 reasons why men should never fall in love with a single mom. It was heartbreaking to read, really heartbreaking but unfortunately some things he said were actually true, true but bitter and I could see myself in one of those instances the writer mentioned, which he said that single mom’s tend to be too needy when you’re together all she ever talks about are her kids or how she feels about something her ex may have done. Sometimes we can’t help it, life just always seems overwhelming and we may at times get stuck in the past or worry too much about the future especially that of our kids. So I’ve told my heart to get rid of these feelings, I’ve been on this abort mission for a while now and it’s beginning to seem like a decade.
Secondly, this is as important. I tell myself this; 'unrequited love is not your fault Jess, you can't control how someone else feels or whether they choose to reciprocate your feelings. It's okay to feel disappointed or sad, but don't blame yourself for something that's outside of your control so move on and don't wait in vain for his love.'
It's also important for us to take care of ourselves during this time. I've been doing badly here, and I've put on a few pounds from binge eating but I'm back up now no more wallowing in self pity of he loves me/he loves me not. I'm making a conscious effort now to eat well, and engage in activities that bring me joy and fulfillment. It is also good to surround yourself with supportive friends and family members who can offer encouragement and comfort.
Prayer is also an important tool for dealing with unrequited love. I find it very easy to tell God how I feel cos I realize there's no point in hiding how I feel He sees it anyway. Remember that hymn 'what a friend we have in Jesus?' I especially like the line that says 'oh, what needless pain we bear all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.' So Take your feelings to God in prayer and ask for His guidance and comfort. Ask Him to help you see yourself as He sees you, and to give you the strength and wisdom to navigate this difficult situation. It's exactly what I'm doing now and He's beginning to illuminate me 😁
Finally, it's important to keep our eyes focused on God's plan for our lives. It's easy to get distracted so even if things don't work out the way I hoped with this person I love, I trust that God has a good plan for me. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." So I'd keep my heart open to what God has in store for me, and trust that He will guide me to the right path and I know He will guide you too
Dealing with unrequited love can be a painful experience, but as a Christian single mom, you have the love and support of God to guide you through it. Remember that you are a beloved child of God, He is good and you are loved!
Let’s
keep pushing, one day at a time.
The Christian Single Mom
1 comments
God bless you for this. This is a topic that's kinda uncomfortable to talk about. I've been in this shoes. Jesus is our husband 😊
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